Two faced people!

We all wish to live in perfect harmony with each other. How we wish we would like to be friends with everyone. But, are our lives completely satisfactory?

Do we really trust the people who are around us? Do they trust us as much as we do? Seldom ever!

I've had friends whom I thought were close to me. A turn of events just helped me to get an insight about me and I realized they've been badmouthing about me all the time. You trust people and they give you reasons exactly why not to trust you. You believe them and they break your heart without fail every single time. They don't understand the feeling you have for them.

No matter how you treat them, they always find ways to find fault in you and call you selfish, just because you are ambitious and are focused, They are going to talk behind your back anyway so don't fret about what they say behind your back. As long as your family trusts you and supports you, its all good.

We feel the need to share our feeling with someone and that is right, because you need to open up your feelings about everyone to that someone. That person need not be your friends,it can be your sibling or parents. Someone who will never judge you no matter what.

So how do you deal with all the back-bitching?

1. Ignore  all their opinions about you.

2. Stop worrying about what-if's.

3. Invest time in improving life- indulge in some creative activity that will help you in your career or pursue a hobby.

4. You are the person who knows yourself more than anyone else. So don't be bothered about the comments others have to make.

5. Do SWOT- Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats ANALYSIS. Work on your weaknesses.

6. Remember: We are not here to please everyone and that is almost impossible to do so, If we start pleasing everyone, we would loose out on our originality. So we better stay ourselves and be original. ;)

Forgive and forget

 In the fast paced earth we hardly have time for anything. So, why waste it fretting over the past which cannot be undone in any case. We must accept whatever happened to us. Agree to the fact that things happen for a reason. They fall into place only if you forgive the people who hurt you.

For an instance if at your workplace somebody hurts you real bad. But all you can do is smile at them and curse them from inside. But, isn't this very disturbing? Definitely yes. So, what do we do about it?

1) Forgive people
                  Have a great heart to forgive the people who only thought of hurting you and bringing you bad luck. We all have weird ways of blaming others for whatever we are going through. So, learn to take control and responsibilities for whatever is going on.

2) Forget bad memories
                  Holding on to bad memoirs only hurts us. We must try not to hold grudges against other people. Past is the place we have been through already. There is no way we can fix it. We have foregone past and we are here right now. That is what matters the most.

3) Forgive yourself
                 To err is human, to forgive is divine. So, even if you know you have committed a grave mistake, have a big heart and forgive yourself. Nobody else has been through what you've been through. Take ownership of what has happened in your life. Don't blame anybody else for anything that has happened in your life. So, even if people pass judgement and belittle you, don't worry. You must remember, you are blessed.

4) Love Unconditionally
                 Only when you give out love you get love. So, learn to love people around without expecting anything in return. It is human tendency to expect love in return. Be different and give your all. True happiness lies in moments where you see other people happy because of you.

5) Love your family
                  Family is what keeps us going. Your mom, dad, brother, sister and others are the one who always worry about you and want you to have the best you can. So, go ahead show them how much you love by little gestures like a hug or helping your mom in the kitchen or helping your sibling with the maths problem that they are stuck in. You don't have to go overboard. We must really respect our family members. Remember every family is crazy in its own way. Respect your's and feel blessed because of what you have today.

6) Spend quality time with friends
                   Friends are as much as important as family. Spend a weekend with your friends, catch up with their lives and tell them what's going on in your's. It's amazing feeling when all of you gather and cherish the nostalgic moments you shared together. You can use this time to take a break from the routine stuff we do in our day to day life.

Self Motivation- Introspection

Don't we always feel we have to fit it and gel well with the people around? We are always insecure about who we are. We really feel anxious about all that is going to happen to us a few years from now. But, shouldn't we be doing what we are passionate about? Shouldn't we be expecting more out of anyone but our self?

There are somethings that bother us all the time. Let's name a few and try and look objectively as to how to overcome them.

1) Self doubt

              We always worry about the way we look. We worry if we are a tad too fat or too thin.
We must understand that we have to accept us for our physical appearance. We must not put ourselves down based on our physical appearance. We must start loving our physique. Stop obsessing to become fat or thin. It's a good thing to be health conscious but, then don't go overboard and starve yourself.

Look in the mirror everyday, tell yourself, "I'm going to accept the body that I'm in. I'm beautiful individual just the way I am." Believe in you.

Like yourself. A person who dislikes them self is very burdensome. Think of yourself as you are worth of every penny you spend on yourself. Buy the dress you always wanted to. Go out on a dinner all alone, spend some time introspecting on life.

Be humble and polite in whatever situation life puts you through. Accept the people who love you and embrace them. Love the caresses. Believe that you are worthy of all the love you are getting. .  Den't let yourself to get immobilized.

Happiness is the way of living. You are blessed.

2) Approval seeking

              Stop seeking approval from people around. What you think of yourself is important than what others think of you. Narendra modi created a landslide by getting more than 50% votes. So, if in a daily basis you get half of your friends to agree to what you say you are a great person. People love you.

But, do not expect people to approve of what you do. Don't hurt yourself for your inability to make decisions. You DO NOT NEED APPROVAL. Your self-esteem is located in you.

People who love you will disapprove of what you do.Don't let the disapproval immobilize you. Expect disapproval, when you get it, you won't get surprised.Run into it.

"You have the choice in how you're going to process." Being approved of is wonderful. But, expect disapproval quite often.

3) Attachment to past

              We all like to imagine about the what-if's. It may be the guy or girl you thought you loved. It may be the career path you did not choose. You imagine if you have done things differently back then, you wouldn't have been here. But, for all I can say is, don't be trapped by the past.You don't live in the past anymore.

"As you think, so shall you be." Stop labeling yourself. Don't label yourself to be bad at something. Many people often feel they are not good at math. We tend to develop a fear against this subject. Don't let this happen to you.If you believe it then, you're acting on it and you get yourself trapped. You must RIP OFF the LABEL. Say to yourself, "Up until now, I've not liked math but, now on I will love math and work my way through."

"You can be anything you want to be." You can choose your personality. You get to make your choice. Break free. Don't hang on to the things from the past. Don't stop yourself. Don't fool yourself. Don't take on habits that hamper your growth. You are working when you are inspired.

So, stay inspired, spread happiness and love. :)

Do what you love!

It so happens that due to the pressure by society or peer group or parents we don't always get to do things our way. If we love doing the thing they are against it so much that we can go against it and do it, I think we really should.

You should always trust your instincts and persuade the dreams you've been having since a long time. Believe that you can achieve all that you dream off. It's a good thing to dream and follow it. It is said that when we are little we know distinctly what we want to be in life. But, as we grow older our pragmatic self doesn't allow us to look at life with the same zestfulness we had years ago. We stop following what we believe in because of many people who come along and because of the circumstances. It's worthwhile to trust your gut feeling and being passionate about your beliefs.

I have always believed in the values imparted by my parents. But, once we grow up, we start reiterating on the morals and values according to the current scenario. One thing we must always remember is that only YOU are responsible for the decisions you've taken and all the results thereon. Blaming anybody else for any situation will be very wrong.

How do you do it?

1) To achieve big, love yourself
             It is crucial. Understand nobody is perfect. We must work hard towards it. There is no easy way out than to accepting the fact that you are what you are. Love yourself for being imperfect and be thankful for what you have. There is always room for improvement.


2) Forgive, don't forget
              We all make mistakes. Forgive yourself for doing so. Only if you commit mistakes, you will learn. Mistakes help you learn a lot of important life lessons. Be proactive and correct the mistakes. Make sure you don't repeat them in future, that's why don't FORGET.

3) Make realistic goals
              Don't plan on something that can't be done overnight. Plan for achieving a short term goal first. Give yourself credits and reward for successful completion. Go out and shop for the dress you've always wanted. Go to the club you've always wanted. Splurge in for yourself. Indulge in spending some lone time.

4) Retrospect the plan
               After the short term goals have been achieved focus on the long term goals now. Remember you have to take baby steps. Don't rush. Only if you endure deep pain now, you'll be able to succeed in future. Don't fret if you don't meet your expectation.

5) Take a break
               Taking a break to cool off is really important. Go out on the trip you've always wanted to go. Go to the music concert. Have a get together with high school friends and catch up with them.
You'll gain perspective and a little inspiration.

6) Follow up the plan
                 Keep working toward your ultimate dream. Don't loose hope. Keep yourself motivated. Thinking about the happiness you get after achieving the end result will keep you going.

7) Don't let people change who you are
                 People may try to belittle you or laugh about your dream. Expect people to laugh at you so that you won't be surprised when they do. Trust me, initially you may sound ridiculous to them. But, like I said you have the right to decide on what you've to do.

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. NOBODY ELSE IS.
You are just as worthy as anybody else. You have a great potential in you. Trust yourself. Stop loathing yourself. Accept who you are. Nobody else can make you happy. Wake up everyday thinking about positive thing about yourself.

Be happy. :) All the best!! :)
      

The vacancy!

How many of us really know how fulfilling our lives are? We always want more or wish things were better. We always have something or the other that is missing in our lives. I call it the vacancy!

I feel there's a void in my life. Even when I have people around me, I feel disconnected to them. I'm an extrovert but, when it comes to friendship I hardly have a handful of them whom I can really look up to at times. I can bind with people instantly, strike conversations and inspire people. When it comes to me there's no one who does things like these to me except for my sister.

I still remember how I used to sleepover at my friends place, we used to gossip, watch horror movies, talk about our lives. It was so much fun! Now, these girls are working and they've moved to some other city. I hardly hear from them. Not just that, I really thought my guy-friend and I would stay best friends forever! But, people are correct when they say nothing lasts forever. Our friendship survived even when we were miles apart. All it took was just one girl to come in between our friendship & Voila!!  WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE!! So, people change and you learn from the changes. You realize distance changes relationships.

So, what do we do to keep ourselves happy and not worry about trivial things like these.
All we have to do is do whatever makes us happy :) It can be anything form listening to music, reading a book, watching a movie, spending some time in a place close to nature, hiking, trekking or anything that give you happiness. Like I love listening to music. I get my inspiration form the lyrics of the songs I listen to. :)

So fill in the vacancy all you've to do is do things that you love doing or what you've always wanted to do! That will really give you the confidence that you required. Most of all you don't have to change yourself for anybody! Be yourself and trust whatever happens, happens for a cause and it'll help you to get in a better place from where you are now.

Everything is temporary! Life is full of ups and downs. So, even if you feel gloomy, remember its temporary and happiness will get to you soon!!

Raise your head! Smile!! :) Go ahead and have a great day :)
Share your experience of how you overcame your vacancy!
Thank you!

Why be somebody else?

All of us want to be somebody in life. Have you ever thought whom that is?

Why loose your identity when trying to be somebody else when you can be the best of you? You have a great potential and all you need to do is just manifest them and try and find out what you're really good at. Not everybody can be good at the same thing. I may be good at badminton and you may be good at dancing and your friend might be very good at solving mathematical problems easily. 

We can't be masters of everything. We can attain mere perfection in a thing or a two. But, to do that we must explore various fields; even if it means you've to take up a huge risk. We are meant to follow our dreams and chase them. 

It is said that when we are kids, we know what we are here for in life. But, as we grow up we start focusing on the things that are trivial to us and loose the focus we had on our dream, that we were so determinant in achieving. One of the reasons why we give up is because we feel the things that we dream about are never achievable by us.

But like its said, If you want something so bad, the whole world conspires in uniting everything to help you attain your goal. Life is unpredictable and nothing lasts forever. We must learn to love what we have right now. Following your favorite personnel is different than being somebody else.

If its for the good, we can imbibe and bring about the necessary change. We must always empathize a situation before being judgmental about any situation. There are reasons why things happen. Everything is for your good. 

Why thinking about the future can be stressful at times?

Have you been caught up by your past, or lost too much of time in wondering what might happen in near future. We all have! The human mind is the most complicated thing in the world. Just to explain this, we can see how we understand the feelings of the people around yet we refrain to act upon it. Are we just heartless to not care about an animal on the street that is dying?

Let's put it simply, haven't you been asked what are your goals? Long term goals and short term goals? When people ask you lot of questions, you start wondering, " where will I end up in 5 years from now? ". You start imagining things and day dream for a really long time. So, what do you get out of it? We all are just left blank at times. Aren't we?

We have better things to do at the moment, than wonder about our future and what it should be like, according to us. The virtue of the future that we are caught up in, is what the future,"according to us", is. It becomes pointless because we never know what's really in store for us.

Its rightly said in the Bhagawad gita, that

कर्मणयेवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।
मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि||

which means- 

“You have a right to perform your prescribed action,but you are not entitled to the fruits of your action. Never consider yourself the cause of the results your activities,and never be associated to not doing your duty.”
 from the forty seventh verse in second chapter of Bhagawad Gita.

But, we might as well wonder how can we not expect anything and just do our duty? We shouldn't get caught up thinking about the future so much that we forget to do what we are entitled to do. We all are here on the earth for a certain reason. We must work towards it and know what you're good at, by trial and error method. There are no hard and fast rules for leading life. Each one lives theirs and writes their own novel. We are also equally curious as to know what happens in the climax of the book and if it all ends well.


All I can say is we must put in all our efforts and leave the rest to the almighty. We must excel in whatever we undertake. That is what makes life challenging and interesting. But, don't forget to have fun in life. You can learn a lot of things by committing mistakes, but, make you sure you don't repeat the same.

Live life. Love life.